Someone shoot me

Well I'm back , for the millionith timeee. Starting over. 

I'm so weak I don't know what's wrong with me. I've been really depressed latley so I've been eating my face off, and no mia, I'm happy about that part. I haven't weighed in a while I think I'm around 149-150, I'm not going to weigh until a week. It's to fucking depressing because it's my own stupid fault.

I don't know why but I have this all or nothing attitude, either I starve myself or binge. There's just no inbetween with me, I can't be normal no matter how hard I try. I bought a bunch of cute clothes for christmas and I want to look good in it so I have to get my ass in gear.

When I'm doing horrible I don't know why but I can't even log on here. I feel so grosse. I'm sorry to m followers and I'm not going to leave again, not even if I have a bad day or two. I'm going to catch up on everyone else's posts. 

So far today I've had  225 calories and it's 9:30pm. I'm not going over 500, no matter what.

Wish me luck this time beautiess 

xo