One more time to kill the pain

I don't know what my problem is today. I crave attention I guess. I have no one to talk to about stuff and so I come on here and I just feel like I'm talking to myself. I read other people's blog and they get so many comments and kind words then I come to mine and I'm like what the hell is wrong with me? Why don't people care about me? I feel like a loser, ya, an internet blogger loser who no one wants to read. I know , it's really quite pathetic but it's really getting me down because I feel like a real life loser as well as one on here. Boo fucking whoo I know grow up J. Get over yourself. End of my pathetic little rant. 

Yesterday I was going to start 2468. I ate 60 cals of egg whites the whole day and sipped on water and diet pepsi. Then I was watching tv and come around 9:30pm I know there's a nestle drumstick in my freezer, cookies and cream and it's just calling out my namee. So I caved and ate it. 300 calories. So instead of purging it like I would normally do I calmed myself down and said it's ok I'll just do ABC instead, that allows 500 cals or less on the first day. So that's what I did and I know it's not much to be happy about I mean hello I did eat the fucking ice cream like a slob but I'm happy I didn't purge it up and my end total calorie count for the day was 360, not bad.

So far today I had some soup, 70 cals and a sandwhich 300 cals. I also got on the treadmill for about 40 mins last night and did a fuck load of push ups, and sit ups. Was still at 134 this morning, hoping to see a drop tomorrow morning. Well I'm going to go do some laundry, think thin my beauties and stay strongg
muchh lovee  xo
-J

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